Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite
by GeeWhizHowSwell
Summary: An uncharacteristically turtleneck-wearing and strangely paranoid changeling's covert, crack-of-dawn expedition to the fridge is compromised by a chipper alien princess.


Through the full-length windows on the east side of Titans Tower, one could just barely make out the beginnings of sunlight seeping out from under the horizon. The fluffy white clouds floating over the bay's seemed edge took on faint red and orange hues, heralding what would no doubt be a beautiful spring day.

Though the common room still retained the darkness of the night as a pointy-eared changeling tiptoed through the doorway, donning a dark blue, wool turtleneck despite the promise of warm weather. And strangely enough, he also wore nothing but a pair of black and purple boxer shorts underneath, which, besides the obvious purpose, did nothing but contribute to the peculiarity of his fashion decisions.

After ensuring he was alone and trying to convince himself that there was no way anyone could have possibly heard the sound of the automatic doors opening, he carefully made his way across the kitchen, warily and uncomfortably surveying the entrances to the room with his keen eyes as he did so. Eventually he reached his destination, the refrigerator, and, after tugging at his itchy collar in discomfort, the teenager opened the door as slowly as humanly possible, lest a mere squeak of the hinges wake the whole tower. Or worse: incite an investigation as to its cause.

Nervously glancing over his shoulder to confirm his aloneness once again, he finally turned his attention to the contents of the chilly metal box before him.

Within it was a half-eaten hot pocket, two sodas that he had vigorously shaken up yesterday in an attempt to stickify his cybernetic friend and that he himself was still too afraid to open, three non-tofu eggs, a carton of heavy cream three weeks past its expiration date, and a container of baking soda. Not to mention the strange blue mold that coated the entirety of the aluminum interior.

He frowned, and his stomach rumbled in what was either anger or mourning. There was no way he had come all this way for nothing. No, he wouldn't allow this valiantly brave—if he did say so himself—expedition for satiating his exertion-induced-hunger to prove futile.

He then opened the freezer, which was contained by a smaller door underneath that of the fridge, and, after rummaging through for a moment as silently as he could manage, pulled out a water bottle.

He grinned triumphantly before realizing what he probably should have expected in the first place: it was rock solid. Suddenly a bit annoyed, he tugged at his thick wool collar once again, but suddenly got an idea as a result. His self-proclaimed bravery would not prove useless, and the ice-cold bottle of water would not either, even if its purpose would not be for drinking and even if it didn't have as much of an effect as he guessed it would.

But no, he couldn't use it here, just in case someone had been watching him. It would give him away.

So, though he was still hungry, he began to make his way back towards the bedrooms of the tower, satisfied with himself but still immensely cautious.

But as the automatic doors opened at what he originally thought was _his_ movement, his green eyes widened into saucers and he let out an audible yelp of surprise. Standing before him was the form of his alien teammate, who he had he only recently accepted would forever be a bit taller than him.

"Oh, glorious morning, friend Beast Boy!" she said jubilantly and without a hint of tiredness, as if it wasn't just barely sunrise. "May I ask why you of all people have awoken at such an early hour of the day? I am fairly certain you do not gain energy from the sun as Tamaraneans do."

The now petrified Beast Boy pushed the cloth of his turtleneck further up and could only stutter the very beginning of a sentence repeatedly in response, looking up in mild fear at the girl.

But the mission was still salvageable, right? Starfire was the second-best Titan to discover him in this situation and, though it wasn't ideal, it would turn out fine, right? It certainly would be a lot harder if it was one his male teammates. All it would take was some classic Beast Boy charm. Yeah, just some classic changeling smooth-talking.

"I-I-uh, hey Star! I just, err, couldn't sleep, you know?" he barely managed to stutter out with a forced, nervous chuckle, tensing his shoulders awkwardly in such a way as to ensure the obscuration of various parts of his neck.

His delayed response did not go unnoticed by the Tamaranean. "Why do you act in such a strange manner? Perhaps the bugs of the bed have done the biting and have not only affected your ability to sleep, but also inhibited your mental faculties as well? And why do you wear such an atypical garment of clothing? Does it alleviate the unfavorable effects of the wretched insects?"

"Err, something like that," he said lamely, rapidly look back and forth between either side of her as she stood blocking the majority of the doorway, both avoiding eye contact and looking for an escape.

"Hmm, I am not sure I understand. How would apparel counteract the wounds of skin sucking creatures?" she asked, holding a finger to her chin and looking up at the ceiling in thought. At this, Beast Boy's muscles suddenly tensed to the point of being painful, and he felt as if was going to snap a tendon and have a heart attack simultaneously. Though, much to the detriment of his current blood pressure and cortisol levels, she unceasingly continued, still oblivious to the mental plight of her teammate: "Also, isn't such a color of clothing normally preferred by friend Rav—"

She was loudly interrupted as an undignified "Eep!" escaped the green teen's mouth, he seemingly disappeared, and a green mouse rapidly scurried away between her legs, leaving the dark blue turtleneck, a forgotten water bottle that was at one point going to be used as an ice pack, and a very confused Starfire behind.

 _Was it something I said?_

* * *

 **Story icon by Gabriel Picolo. And, perhaps unsurprisingly, I just listened to Turtleneck Coverup by Ozma.**


End file.
